Can anybody say “Throughout my life, I have never told a lie”? The answer is absolutely “No, I lied before,”or “I lied many times that I can not remember the number of lies”. Nobody can imagine a person who is completely truthful. In most of the incidents, people in fact do not understand that they tell a lie. Lies are so common place, they almost seem like the truth. Actually, it seems like a truth to the eye of the liar because liar’s world accepts it as a truth. We all accept our own truths in our own worlds. However, lies are not very harmful or serious problems. In addition to this, telling a lie is sometimes more appropriate than telling the truth. In my opinion, it is sometimes better to lie than to tell the truth.
First of all, it is sometimes better to lie than to tell the truth so that we do not hurt others. Some people will feel disappointed, frustrated, or upset if the words from other people aren’t the wanted words that these people expected. They will built castles in the air about everything before the conversation, but unexpected words during the conversation will collapse their castle, in other words, thier desires and dreams. For example, imagine that you are going to have a meal at your close friend house in one evening. During the evening, you may not like the dinner that your close friend serves. What would you do? Of course, you mustn’t say “ Your meal is irritating and I hate it”. This would be very rude. Instead you should try to be more polite. Although you don’t like the meal, you should say “I like your dinner tonight, your dessert and the other courses are the most delicious ones that I have ever tasted”. After meal, you will see that your friendship will be strengthened, and your friend will behave more respectful to you since you will have said the things that he/she wanted from you. The other example is that you can motivate somebody by telling a lie instead of hurting . Imagine again that you are teacher, and there is a student who is unsuccessful. Other teachers think that this student has no intention to study hard. Also, his heart was broken because he thinks that he hasn’t got any speciall skills and talents. In this case, our behaviour to student must not be hurtful. We can tell him a lie -to motivate him- like, “Tom -George, Amelie, Ali, Veli-, your performance has been increasing in these days, I hope that you will be a good student in the future”. This words which comes from our mouth will impress the attention of this student to courses. Besides, we will not hurt the student’s feelings. By the way, even he/she could be successful in his/her courses. (Moreover, there are many researchs about telling a lie to the students. According to research result, the way I explained you is the best way that teacher can conduct over students. For example, in one experiment, scientists chose a classroom at the first class of elementary school, and they always said the students in this classroom “You all are very intelligent and succesful”. Although they were not intelligent, they begun to believe that they were intelligent. As a result, they finished the courses very well. From all of these, we can understand that as a teacher, we can motivate students by telling a lie.) Final example is that lovers may not hurt their partner’s feelings by telling a lie. The partnership always needs respect and mutual understanding (respectiveness). Naturally, if they want to be understanding, they will have to tell a lie. For example, our partner has given a gift to us. Unfortunately it isn’t the gift that we expected. If we say him/her “I am sorry, but this kind of gift is not appropriate for me.”, we will absolutaly break our partner’s heart. On the other hand, we will say “Oh dear, this is the gift that takes place in my dreams. I like it very much”, then you can look at your partner’s eyes. They seems very pleased. As a result, your relationship goes on more vigorous than it used to by telling a little white lie. In brief, people can make other people by telling a white lie instead of breaking their heart.
In Addtion, it is sometimes better to lie than to tell the truth so that we don`t have to do something that others want. Sometimes we will get confused because of the hardness of the life. In that time, we will think that no one can make us do something. As a result, we will tell a whlte lie to get rid of other people desires. For example, one night your friend calls you and said ‘’I want to go out tonight, would you like to come with me?’’ Although you feel so good in that night, , you don`t want to go out with him/her since you don`t like him/her. There is only one way to reject your friend offer and it is telling a white lie. You can say ‘ I`m very sorry, but I am not avaible to go out becuse I feel upset and tired. In the afternoon, I have to work hard in my office’’, or you can say "I am afraid, I can't accept your offer. I feel not good, but on Friday, I am available to go out" . After telling this white lie, your friend will be persuaded and you will solve this problem without breaking his/her heart. The another example is that you can tell a lie not to do things that you don`t like. For example, suppose that you don't like to go cinema in a sunny day, but your friends want to watch "X-Men 2". Instead you want to go open air cafe or place. You can tell a little lie like "I heard that the germs of SARS comes from the dark place like cinema, theatre, etc..." After that, you can add "The open air places will be more appropriate than cinema. We should go to the cafe to taste the pleasure of the sunny day.
All in all, as you see telling a lie will be appropriate and inevitable as a solution of some problems. With telling a lie we can manage our relationship and keep the friendship. There are many ways to tell a lie in some events, and telling a lie is more profitable than telling the truth. In my opinion, sometimes our lives are full of lies and the real becomes a lie with not telling the truth. The truths can be changed and there is no person who says "I have never told a lie". If he/she says "I have never told a lie" , we can understand that he/she is a real liar.
Nov 23, 2008 #1
We always hear phrases like "you must tell me truth", "I would not believe any more if you will tell me lie even once". But sometimes there are situations when it is better to say lie, and lie has good intention. So I do not support that always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.
Firstly because, sometimes the truth is hurt. For example, when somenone is ill and asking "is he better", I would rather to answer "yes, you are" even it is not, because I am given hope to this person,hope that one day his or her ilness will finish. Therefore, the one main reason for lie is that with lie we are giving hope.
Another good reason for lie, is that it is tradition. We are lying to child that present under fir-tree are left by Santa Clause when he was sleeping, because not only we grew up on this lie, but the same did our grandmothers and granfathers and because this lie is beautiful, it lets to child to think that not everything are so real as its are.
However, the lying is bad, when your lie is smaw up, not everybody will think that it was done in good intention. The illing person will think that no one is understanding him or her, the child will think "why adults lied to me, does it mean that I can lie to adult too?". Another way they do not believe us so easily, because we are always obligate not to tell lie.
In conclusion, I disagree that always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship, because sometime, only when I know that it will be better and someday person will understand that it was done in good intention, I would rather not to say truth.
Good afternoon :)
As you didn't explain what type of assistance you were seeking, I have made some suggestions in regards to mechanics and grammar:
"You must tell me the truth," "I would not believe you anymore if you lie to me even once." ButAvoid beginning your sentences with conjunctive/transitory words such as "and," "so," or "but." sometimes..."
"Firstly, sometimes the truth is hurtful."
"...asking, "Is he better?" I would rather answer "Yes, he is," even if he is not because I am giving hope to this person; hope that one day the illness will be over."
"Another good reason to lie is that it protects traditions. We lie to children that the presents under the fir tree are left by Santa Clause while the child slept. We do this because we grew up with this lie, and so did out ancestors; this lie is beautiful and it allows the child to think that not everything is so real as they are."
With the corrections above in mind, look through the last two paragraphs of this piece and look for areas where you can improve.
Nov 24, 2008 #3
thanks fot checking my essay!!!)))
what grade you can give me?
Nov 24, 2008 #4
may i ask question?...it is ok if will use sentences with question? i mean toefl is academic style, while sentences with question is not always academicly...???
it will better if i will use example in each mini paragraphs or at least on example in pasaage??
Good morning :)
I think I'd probably give it a low C right now, as it is without the corrections. I think it is appropriate to ask a question as long as you answer it, or acknowledge it further in the text. If possible, I suggest using an example that pertains to the topic subject in each paragraph.